CC Willow art store

Thursday, May 31, 2012


Where am I driving to: Tired and wary
Looking for Escape?
The empty roads offer escape
But no Company.
The men at bars offer company
But no Comfort.
My friends offer both but
Deliver no Release.

I search some more and find myself
At your door;
Embarrassed a bit at showing
With you I find all four.

June 26, 2004


I am
A winged creature;
Pulled into the Undercurrent of Time’s Passing,
Pulled into its seduction of a toneless void.
The mind muddies and stifles;
Unable to dredge up motivation,
Unable to focus the inner eye.
Surroundings lack color
And visual weight.

March 10, 2004

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Admitting - an early piece

Tears of regret
Not long forgotten
Love long lost
Memories distortrd
And my happiness

My heart never learning
To put back the past
When so much of the future
Is ever-denied love.

May 2, 1990

Cynthia Based on the Numbers

Patient, Willful, Strong, Giving
Brave, Daring, Bold, Charismatic, Brash
Healer, Wise, Survivor, Crafty
Unswerving, Steadfast, Demanding, Forceful
Couragous, Faithful, Caring
Independent, Researcher, Intelligent
Creative, Inventive, Intuitive

Strong, Sturdy, Decisive
Wise, Crafty, Daring, Inventive
Healer, Wise, Survivor, Crafty
Wise, Crafty, Daring, Inventive

Wise, Crafty, Daring, Inventive
Fun, Joyous, Persistant, Risk taker, Childish
Creative, Inventive, Intuitive
Healer, Wise, Survivor, Crafty
Colorful, Bright, Perceptive

June 17, 2004

This is another in the Numerology Name Series ...

Thomas Based on the Numbers

Unswerving, Steadfast, Demanding, Forceful
Courageous, Faithful, Caring
Optimist, Gamesman, Marketer, Hunter
Creator, Developer, Builder
Creative, Inventive, Intuitive
Colorful, Bright, Perceptive

Determined, Persistent, Idealist
Creative, Inventive, Intuitive
Colorful, Bright, Perceptive

Compassionate, Caring, Knowing
Patient, Determined, Strong
Optimist, Gamesman, Marketer, Hunter
Determined, Persistent, Idealist
Courageous, Faithful, Caring
Wise, Crafty, Daring, Inventive
Creative, Inventive, Intuitive
Determined, Persistent, Idealist

June 16 2004

 This is one of a series of name poems based on Numerology.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Widens the void
Between my breasts;
Not easing the longing
But honing the years
Into an edge
That cuts.

April 30, 2004

Monday, May 28, 2012


To reach the ocean floor
One must dive deep.

Succumb and assimilate
The increasing pressure;
Take it into yourself and
Live in that moment,
Then ride the currents yet lower.

Discover the true
Denizens of the deep
Their habits and psyches;
Those creatures that carry their own glow
Where all is dark and murky.
Accept and know the amoebas and parasites,
Prey and Predators.

One cannot understand the ocean of the soul
Just by staying on the surface
And being an Observer,
Watching the waves.
April 28, 2001


Ignoring my existence
Deprives us both.

April 21 2004

How You Effect Me ...

A cat keeps purring,
No matter if it is inhaling or exhaling,
A baffling accomplishment.

Look Deeper

Do not mistake me;
That which is exposed still hides
My roots’ true nature.


Saturday, May 26, 2012


It’s all a matter
Of perception; The magics
Veil the preparation.

April 13, 2004

Thursday, May 24, 2012

My Fantasy

It is my fantasy
            That if you really got to know me,
If I showed you my soul and
The words wrapped around it,
That you would fall in love
With me.
All those foibles and quarks
            That now irritate and confound you
            Will have their context, their place.
And I would be not just acceptable
            But wanted and desired.

March 25, 2004

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Cannot Be Demanded

Love can not be demanded
As if it is some entitled possession.
It is not something reciprocal
By law or nature.
Love demanded is not love
But a stunted resentful emotion.

Love can not be demanded or asked for
It can be only be given.
If you love someone,
You can give that love.
You have only affection, then
Love can be cultivated, nurtured;
You can choose to give it life
And allow it to grow
Like any living thing.

March25, 2004

Staving off Sleep

Staving off sleep
In the pale dark
Waiting for the Muse.

Hoping for completion
The reason why I position
Myself still to lose.

March 21, 2004

Stilll seeking answers in the dark ...

Day-to-Day Realities

Only extremes get documented,
            Dissected, obsessed over;
The day to day realities
            Get experienced unrecorded.
Yet they are a part of my too
            The small compromises I make to survive.

Mar 20, 2004

Thin Water

Sitting in the thin
Light of morning
Even Ariel has lost
Her voice.
Thinking of it not
As day’s beginning but
End of night,
Enduring the darkest hours.

And, yes, the sun will rise
And today may look beautiful
But like a reflection in water,
The sun will give off light
But no warmth.
And the cold will
Seep into my bones
And lodge there.

It has been water
In my mind all year.

February 2004

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

October's Question

Why do I come over
You ask.
I can’t answer that
Completely …
How do I describe what I don’t understand,
Not sure I want to.
I can’t describe why being with you
Is like a jolt of electricity caressing me
Why standing next to you is being home
In a place I’ve never been before,
Unfamiliar but
Knowing where everything is.

I can’t explain why when I’m close to you,
Thoughts and names flow
Like half-remembered dreams I’ve never had.
I don’t know why the exhilaration,
At your touch,
Is the feeling of standing on a cliff
And not knowing which way the wind will blow.
It’s breathless, and scary and intoxicating
All at the same time.
It’s weird. It’s desire.
It would be so easy to run away from you.
To know you are there, and you could hurt me
Or I hurt you. I fear that.
The balance is tenuous, delicate,
Between how glorious it could be and how tragic.
I can’t explain that to you
For it scares me and it will scare you.

You are not some frivolous stone to pick up.
But I won’t tell you that either.
Nor am I.
But I’ll return

Three Brothers Taft Bay
CC Willow
Oct 1, 2003


My husband I need
I need because I love him.

But the other …
I love him because I need him.

April 2003

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Waiting for a Response

Waiting for a renewed response, searching
Through email hoping for your erst-while attention

Psychics, psychologists, spells & books
Searching among strangers for advise & direction.

Testing and Probing on the fringes
Searching for the secret to your affection.

April 7, 2003


Dreams that I can see
Are only to show what I
Will never achieve.

March 28, 2003


That was not expected
And further shows the irony of our timing.

Any other time I’m hoping for your attention
But no,I get it now
After I’ve committed
Every moment for the next three days;
When I have borrowed babes
When I have widowed mother and a birthday
dinner to take care of;
A dinner for my husband
to meet  one of my past boyfriends,
When I have roots showing
And ten pounds to shed,
When the past mires my mind again
And I need to find my way back again.
Now you want me?

Lover, you’ll have to wait.

March 28, 2003

Never Know

Never Know 

Perhaps you wouldn’t have loved me anyways
But I will never know. 

Never know if things were different,
That I may have captured your heart
The way you captured mine. 

Never know why,
After fourteen years,
Why I’m writing a love poem
To someone who is still basically a stranger.

March 18, 2003

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Moment of Rape

Moment of Rape

Maybe the problem is that
I’m always stuck in the month;
those two weeks that held my heart
and choices captive in two different polarities.
Those two weeks,
years ago, that finished the savage
taking of my innocence;
my body at the cost of my life
my life at the cost of my heart
my heart at the cost of my hopes.
You weren’t who I wanted to love
and yet I do –
someone who doesn’t want me.
He didn’t want me either –
just wanted to hurt someone,
hurt them to their core. 

How complete the hurt,
a moment I still cower in.

March 18, 2003
Pisces Unfinished
CC Willow 2010

The Heart

The Heart

I feel, I believe,
the heart is not only capable
of loving many,
but is also meant to,
and by choice.
Monogamy, to me,
seems a very unnatural
state. Like meat tasting of
processed chocolate.
I don’t believe in “soul-mates”.

March 17. 2003


Your name is in my heart
Hidden under black ink

So that none may know or suspect
That I remember your illicit touch.


Friday, May 18, 2012

My Solution - an early piece

You're looking all over to
Solve Today’s Dream,
Saving the owl...
The forests...
The air.
And, somewhere along the way,
Picked up the assumption
That man must end
For the Earth to live.
Citing historic exploitation,
You condemn mankind's future.
"Die and sin no more!"

My faith tells me the solution
Lies only with the continuation
Of man,
Instilling in the next generation
The best of man's ideals,
The sum of man's experience.
So I will create a better tomorrow
By teaching the children today.
That is how I will raise our son
March 12, 1991

CC Willow 2012

Please Read - an early poem

Perhaps I am a child
Who loves you.
That is okay.
I have often admired children
For they love so purely
And without hesitation.
Children see things as they
Really are
They ignore that which
            Is unimportant.
It is something that
            Adults have forgotten.

February 14, 1991

Downwards - an earlier piece revised

Thomas, at night you
Haunt my memory;
On the frozen, still
Midwinter moment
A chance meeting
Sealed our fates.

In passion, my love was conceived.

Sealed heart,
Two cold years have passed. Denial
Is not sweet. I am unsuccessful in
Loving others and unsuccessful in not
Loving you.

Life, grant me the
Opportunity again; the memory
Vexes my heart. I can not hide its
Echoing veracity inside much longer.

You are my heart, my life, my
One great love. Thomas, if only you
Understood how much I need you.

March 9, 1991

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Want To Talk To You - an early poem

I want to talk to you
But I’m scared of your rejection.
I opened up to you one time,
But you misunderstood my intentions.
Now when you look at me,
You see only your suspicion …
And it’s not me.

How can I tell you
I still love you
When I can’t even talk to you?

February 1991

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Admitting - an early poem


I love you still
But more importantly
I like you.


Center Street - an early poem

Center Street

I know where you live,
It didn’t take me long to find it
Once I got the courage.

April 1990

Inner Reaches - an early poem

Has it always
Been Civilization's ambition
To walk
Through Halls of Wisdom?
So long we have strove
To reach the Next Shelf
And dust off Forgotten Knowledge,
To find Ancient Mysteries
Hidden within the Mythology

October 1989

TigerEyes - an early piece

What is it that makes me tremble
When you’re around or call my name
Like a primitive pheromone
That speeds quick to my brain
Causing it to weaken,
Skin to tingle, Heart rapidly beat,
Only to be sated when
We mingle ‘pon the rumpled sheet.



Resting Tiger
by CC Willow

A Cat Has No Master - an early piece

You cannot claim me,
A cat has no master.
My attention will be given to you
On my terms and whims.
Accept my affection if you will;
Love is love when freely given,
I can be generous with it.
But do not stay me when I go.
I will eat your food, but continue to hunt;
Like any creature not overly domesticated,
I need to rely only on myself for survival
And take no one for granted.

January 1989

After The Storm - an early piece

After the storm
comes the rainbow;
when the rosebuds
will blossom
and the fish will swim.


Jan 1 1989